


Canton Elementary

by Cicadacry, Sieglair



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (Dysfunctional Families | Etc.), Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Ancestor Parents, Eventual Alpha Kids & Dancestors, Light-Hearted, Multi, dancestor siblings, some serious moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7527019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cicadacry/pseuds/Cicadacry, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sieglair/pseuds/Sieglair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set apart from the sadness and stress of the original Homestuck universe, Canton Elementary takes our characters and places them in a simpler, happier time - to the days of second grade.</p>
<p>First two chapters are introductory. Shenanigans start to ensue in chapter three.<br/> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sun

       The Earth span. On its axis, tilted like a child's head rested on its mothers arm. The sun, blistered, taking the center of attention to everything that the trolls, and the humans knew to be in their solar system. Like a popular kid, the sun held a gravitational pull on every body from Mercury to Pluto. Yet, the sun looked up to see thousands and thousands of other bodies, larger, brighter, with more of a crowd. The sun was small, the sun was minuscule; and this was how Dave Strider was feeling as he lay in bed, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars he got last Christmas - no two Christmas' ago. Man he was getting old. One hand pulled up from the red covers to pinch the bridge of his nose, fingers sweeping sleep sand out of the corner of his eyes. _Knock knock..._  Dave turned his head to the door, brass knob twisting and pushing open at a speed that already told him it couldn't have been Bro, it was too gentle of a push. Dirk poked his head in, hair already styled and already dressed, shoes and socks and he swore he could smell his Will Smith branded deodorant from here. "You're late bro, the bus is going to be here in 5 minutes..." His mouth was tilted with worry, telling what his covered eyes couldn't express. Dave blinked, then a laugh surprised out of his nostrils. "Wow that's so lame - I'm straight out of one of your shitty animes. Oh no! I'm going to be late for my first day of school!" He feigned panic as he threw off the covers. Dirk shook his head, a mixture of disappointment and perhaps amusement. "I don't need your romcom pitches, would you get up?"  
"Alright, alright." Though still groggy, he managed to give a dismissive wave to his brother. Doubtful, Dirk shut the door and quiet footsteps grew silent as he walked away.  
       When you're younger the world felt so much bigger, that's why Dave felt lost in his closet, rummaging through shirts that all had the same print, changing only in color, or fabric. He wanted something casual, but not too casual, not like 'just picked up off the street', but 'I didn't care enough to look good today'. It was a delicate balance he was treading. Black jeans and a white shirt with his record print on it happened to be what he left with. Well, that and his shades. He combed a hand through his soft blonde hair, where it puffed to one side.  
       'Oh right,' he paused with one hand on the knob. 'School supplies.' His gaze shifted 180 degrees. Backpack: check, some random papers: check, pencil: check. That's all anyone ever needed right? Dave slung the incredibly light backpack over one shoulder, then shuffled across the hall where Rose passed him. He looked here over, should he have dressed nicer? She wore a dark purple dress with black leggings, and with a headband placed in her hair with a skull on it, she looked prepared for a funeral not school. "You don't think you'll scare off the other kids with that get up?"  
"Says the boy with drool stuck to one cheek." She smirked, bouncing down the stairs. Dave hurriedly rubbed his face, she was right. How did he not catch that in the mirror? He slumped down after her, when their feet were planted firmly on the wooden floors at the end of the stair he shoved her towards the direction of the living room. Predicting this, Rose quickly recoiled and pulled a wand out of seemingly nowhere; it would be only later that day Dave would realize she hid it up one sleeve. He would then contemplate over how well executed the whole ordeal was, but that didn't make the pain of getting whapped over the head with a stick any less painful. "Ow!" He exclaimed, rubbing his head. Rose grinned from ear to ear. But there wasn't a window of opportunity to childishly banter, as Dirk stepped up to them. "Cut it out, gremlins." He placed a hand on both their shoulders and pushed them towards the door. With no well fit adults in the home, Dirk ended up being the one who cooked and cleaned and made sure Rose and Dave got to school on time.. "Second grade already..." He breathed, talking more to himself than either of them. Rays of early autumn sun bathed the concrete in a glowing light. They walked across the lawn, which was a process that took less than a few seconds. The housing in the deep suburbs treated its suppliers more as nesting rats than actual people. That was partially why Dirk walked them all the way to the bus stop, where a dozen other kids crowded. Dave fixated his shades, Rose smoothed out her dress. "Okay, have a great day guys." Dirk wasn't able to hide the bit of pride in him, it beamed off him. "I'll make our specialist grilled cheese tonight." Rose turned back to watch as he turned and left.  
       "Have a good day too Dirk!" She called after him. Dave shouldered past his sister towards the group of people, made primarily of trolls, and each being bodies he recognized from last year. He wouldn't talk to them, they'd have to come to him simple as that. He leaned against the bus stop post, staring at the pavement with the sun sending a _cooool_ glimmer off his shades.  
There, he waited. He listened in to the other people, Tavros's voice still quiet, sheepish, Nepeta still purring, Gamzee still slurring. "Hey fuckhead." A hard punch from the right shoulder made Dave flinch. He whipped his head around to see Karkat hugged in a black sweater, despite the apparent heat. His mocha black hair absorbed the sunlight in a halo, his mouth curled into an ever hateful smile. "What man?!" Dave rubbed his shoulder, man why was everyone hitting him today?  
     "Where's my 7 bucks that you promised me for eating that wafer cookie off the floor from last year?!" Karkat screamed, voice growing gravely from it all. It hit Dave like a brick, he had done that huh? Warm liquid memories painted images of Karkat gagging and blowing chunks over the floor. He must have left the troll in a silence, because he got closer and yelled louder some inaudible noises he wouldn't begin to make out. "Look look, I'll get it to you-" he pushed him back a bit, the Strider bubble was an important thing to maintain. Karkat glared at him, nostrils flared. "With interest rate even." He boasted a deal he'd never be able to keep.  
"Oh really?" He scoffed.  
       "Yes really. You see, unlike your unsuperior troll brain, I have been busy investing in some promising stalks over the summer and I'm raking in the money, practically rolling in it really. Have you ever taken a bath in 10 dollar bills? It's a beautiful experience Karkat, and anyway hey look bus is here LATER." The bus had finished reluctantly squealing on its breaks in front of them, and now sat spitting exhaust. Dave cooly turned on his heels, dismissing himself from the conversation and parting through the line gathered in front of the bus to take the best seat. The doors creaked open, and the familiar pawn who not only delivered the children, but also the mail greeted them. Dave got pick of the first seat, which he of course reserved as far back as the elementary shoolers were allowed which... Wasn't very far - but still. He sat back and watched the students file in, some sitting together, others alone. Dave's gaze shifted to the window, a smile creeping to his lips. An excitement buzzed in his stomach, this year ahead of him was going to be a breeze. He knew everything those teachers would garble out anyway. Besides, he was 9, he'd practically seen everything there was to see in life at this point anyway, right?


	2. Hello Class

       A loud eeeeekkk sounded as the bus stopped along the curved stretch of road that hit its peak at the entrance to the large concrete structure that served as the elementary school. To the left of it was a large field mixed with grass, asphalt, and playground equipment. To the buildings right was a tall fence that served as a frontline to a small collection of trees that slowly formed into a thick forest the farther one looked. The still green trees color only opposed by the nearly absurd bright green roof of the grade school. No child payed any of this attention though. Most were focused on the loud pressure releasing noise that just sounded. Signaling the opening of yellow doors.  
       Unlike the majority of others who all crammed against each other in the small middle path like it was some sort of race to prison. Dave sat patiently in his seat with a cool, uncaring look cast towards the window as the others slowly filed out. There was no way he was going to risk bumping against another kids butt or something. Especially Equius who, like the weirdo he was decided to sit in front of him. The only way he was gonna be able to avoid that mammoth would be busting out some sick ninja hurdles... But he knew the bus lady would likely make a fuss about that.  
       Before Dave could process that thought any further, Nepeta had pounced on the human, barreling him back into his seat. "Dave!" She squealed. The childish girl had a blue hat that was clearly over sized, and was made to have little points near he top that resembled ears. Tufts of black hair messily scattered about by her neck and covered her pointed ears. Her arms rose, then wrapped around Dave in a big squeeze. She wore an over sized green jacket, akin to the rest of her wardrobe only by means of how it made her seem small in comparison. The sleeves hung over her wrists, and the hem fell down so long it could have been a dress. Nepeta giggled, squeezing him so tightly the vertebrae in his spy could pop. Before fatal injury could occur, she pulled back, round, huge eyes staring into his sunglasses. "Wooooow! You're shades they're not pointy anymore!" She reached out in an attempt to grab them.  
       Dave of course would not have this, and as she now withheld her crushing grip, the strider flawlessly and totally without panic dived past the crazy cat girl into the middle walkway of the bus. Quickly rising to his feet. He shot a glance to the exit. All clear. Looking back to kitsune kid, he gave a stern "No touchy", resuming the calm, cool attitude as he walked, holding out a palm to create an illusory barrier between them "Trust me It's really a matter of your own safety, if I have to bust another ninja move, I can't promise you'd get through it without intense injury" Part of him was sure she wasn't actually listening, as the only response he got was another unnerving giggle. but heck she wasn't pouncing again. His eyes stayed on her through their arrival and opening of the school entrance. Where immediately on the other side of the squeaky enamel floored hall, Dave could see kids gathered around what he assumed where the class lists.The list was stapled to the bulletin board beside the office, a place all too familiar to Strider from last year. Peeking in through the window as inconspicuously as he could appear, he looked around to see if any new staff were hired. Nope, same old same old. He could see straight through the long, wide window into the Principal's office near the back of the building, glad to see it was still the Principal Mayor. His gaze swept to the lady at the front desk, NOT so glad to see it was Snowball. The black body, tall and slender and form fitting - hell if Dave was a bit older, around his brothers age he'd find her hot as the fiery depths of hell. Something about her was enamoring, but her harsh eyes, the way she carried herself, it was incredibly intimidating. It occurred to Dave he must have been staring when she looked up from her computer and fixated her eyes on him. He was quickly shuffled back into action, cooly and collectively wading through the smaller and larger bodies to the stapled paper.. There were rumors he heard from last year about the second grade teachers - one was great, and the other was horrible. Either option, Dave wasn't too stoked, but inwardly he hoped to get the one that wouldn't hit him with a ruler. He turned to and processed the list, scrolling through grade tier, down to his own where he found the name of the teachers - Mr. Vantas, and Mr. Jack. It occurred to him before he could even find his name, that must have been Karkat's dad. Dave had never visited the crabby kid last year, they never really got along in the first place - but jeez, to have your DAD be your teacher? It brought a smile to his face. And much to his delight, he found himself to be placed in that class along with Karkat. Oh the shit he would give him... Mr. Vantas was located in room 17. Pushing back out through the bodies of people and avoiding Nepeta at all costs, he shuffled through the halls, dragging a hand along the smooth, dark blue walls of the interior. He tracked the room numbers as he walked, wandering through the long halls (or at least what FELT like long halls) until the numbers crept higher, 15, 16, 17. Dave stopped in front of the room, clicking his shoes against the hard floor underneath his feet. Here we go.  
       The room Dave stepped into was somewhat smaller than he expected. The door he entered in through was in its top right corner, parallel to the teacher's desk, which tucked away cozily on the left corner. Only three rows of desks that went four back spread across the room. Luckily they seemed decently sized and adequately spaced for his needs. On each side of the classroom large bookshelves flanked the desks, Holding obviously mostly books but some small boxes and knick knacks of undiscerned purpose also took residence. The back wall was surprisingly empty except for what looked like an old desk pushed up against it, while the front wall immediately drew his attention with the writing strewn across its chalkboard. Soon though Strider found himself a bit confused. This teacher must be dumb as rocks! whatever he wrote up there was nearly incomprehensible squiggle lines only vaguely taking the shapes of letters... similar to those of Gamzee's weird symbol thing. He shook his head, oh well. dumb teacher means easy class. Strider looked around for his desk as each one held a name tag, likely for the teachers early year convenience. Luckily even in weird writing, DAVE was easily discernible. Taking his seat, the boy only now realized he was the only one here. Oh crap, the other kids were probably still hanging out before class!, what was he doing?.. Son of a bi-  
        A tall body entered the room, at first glance they might have appeared to be a taller version of Karkat. Dave instantly knew that was the teacher before he even opened his mouth. His eyes fell on Dave immediately, and a warm smile touched his lips that was so genuine it nearly made Dave smile back. "Well hello, you must be Dave, Dave Strider?" Mr. Vantas was balancing a large box on one shoulder, but he soon set it down on the desk beside him and leaned against it. "I had your brother a few years ago, he sat right back there," he pointed a few seats over, nearest to one of the large book shelves. "Yeah, My bros always get the coolest seats" Dave responded, looking over for himself. Definitely looked like a Dirk kind of spot. Gaze shifting back to the front of class, Dave found himself giving Mr. Vantas a closer examination. Was this really Karkats dad? The dude seemed like a complete pushover niceguy. If it wasn't for physical clues he'd much quicker put his money on a relation to tavros. The aura of niceness on him was that exponential  
       Mr. Vantas didn't have time to say something else, only enough time to open his mouth before the door opened and a group of 3 students came in all at once, Vriska, Kanaya and Karkat bringing up the rear. "AUG..." A loud groan erupted before anyone could utter a single comment. "Why couldn't I be in Jacks class?" Karkat stomped forward, looking all around the class except for at his father, or Dave. He followed the rows of seats until he found his name tag, great... He sat to the left of Dave. Angrily, he threw his backpack on the ground next to him and crashed in his desk. It was at this time Dave noticed that Karkats back pack had little crab claws hanging off the sides, and was red in color. What a dork.  
       Karkat crumpled up his name tag. "I thought you'd like the placement of your desk, Karkat." Signless spoke, picking the box back up and continuing to speak as he went to the desk near the back of the room. "Oh I LOVE it Mr. Vantas..." The troll stressed the sarcasm on his tone.  
       "Im confident in assuming the intense sarcasm is really just to hide the fact your a total daddy's boy" Vriska mocked as her and Kanaya, who for the moment was contempt in silence, took their seats. Dave was a bit jealous they beat him to the punch, but In truth his savage lines were best saved for later. Soon his mind shifted anyway, as Gamzee, Aradia, and Rose walked into the room, along with a trailing Equius that until now, Dave had not noticed he was carrying both Aradia and Gamzee's school junk. Oh crap, if he's here that friggin cat girl is likely about. Striders eyes started every corner of the room in slightly unreasonable fear.  
       "Oh great YOU'RE in here too?" Karkat growled, glaring daggers at Vriska as she began to rummage through the desks. Just his luck, having Strider and Serket in the same class for a next year.  
       Eventually, as all current the kids found their spots and began setting their supplies. The final classmate ran through the door, almost crashing into Equius as he left back for Jack's class "Sorry Mr. Vantas" Tavros huffed in his bodies disdain for this level of exertation "Am I late?.." the boy looked terrified of that proposition, rushing to find his desk. "Not at all, Tavros." Mr. Vantas smiled as the shy boy found his desk settled right in the center between Vriska and Gamzee. He made sure to set Tavros near the back of the class, the horns on that boy would block the whole class from seeing the board. Gamzee leaned across his desk with starry, wide eyes and grinned widely at him. "Hey Tavbro!" He exclaimed, yet his voice retained its slurred, somewhat rougher tonethat seemed out of place. "I'm so glad y'all are in the same class as me this year." The troll placed their cheek on the palm of his hand, looking at him almost dreamily, or almost tiredly, Tavros could never tell. "Heh, yeah me too... Uh, G-man" Tavros smiled sheepishly.  
       "Alright kids!" Signless spoke up, catching the attention of everyone in the room. Heads, with horns or without, turned to look up at the teacher. Some seemed excited, some seemed bored already, some seemed angry - regardless, Mr. Vantas smiled at them all. "I'm Mr. Vantas, I'll be your teacher for the next year. I'm sure you'll notice, I'm not too much of a stickler - I have one rule I need you all to follow, give respect, get respect." He seemed to be saying that directed mainly to his son. "I look forward to watching you all grow. Now, we don't have time to dilly dally, everyone take out a piece of paper, I'm going to teach you about a strange new form of writing - cursive."


	3. Painted Bull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee and Tavros bond a little.

Recess.

       Tavros knew he had to be quick, turning the corner to the next hall after bolting out of classroom. If he could just get the restrooms before anyone saw, he could hide and quietly enjoy his handheld and some good virtual adventures in solace. Usually the prospect of meeting the others was fine, he wasn't especially anti-social, but today Gamzee and Vriska both seemed especially on the prowl for his attention,... and hed rather just not have to deal with trying and failing to tell them no. Even if that meant playing hermit. He gave a vigilant look around to make sure the coast was clear before pushing the handle less door open. Giving a slight sigh of relief.

       His joy was short lived. "Heeeeey Taaaaav!" Gamzee snorted with laughter as he saw the skittish boy enter the bathroom. Gamzee stood in front of the sinks, all around him was white and dark grey face paint. Turning his head, Tavros could see half of the trolls face done up in makeup, messily applied all over him in a almost clown shaped pattern. "How's it goin' mothafucka?" Gamzee dropped the small cotton ball he was using, offering Tavros his signature, lopsided smile. "You hidin in here or some wicked shit?" He asked, only assuming so because of the way he clutched his Game Boy close to his chest. Tavros took a step forward, out of the way of the door. Slightly nervous, and racking his brain with the question of how Gamzee got here before him, he swore the other troll must of been part of Dave's ninja clan or whatever he called it "Uh... Nah, Just you know,.. I like bathrooms" Wow Tav, great save.

       Gamzee looked back and continued to apply the lazy make up on his face. "You know mothafucka, you'd make a wicked clown." He said, just as quickly as he has before, he gasped and turned back to Tavros. "Ah! You HAVE to let me try it bro." He shambled forward and without the slightest intent of asking permission, grabs Tav's hands and pulls him forward. Gamzee never had a gauge for personal space, which is why Tavros's was tugged so hard that his feet began to shuffle with Gamzee's, and their heads nearly crashed together. "Alright, here." He turned Tavros so he faced his reflection.

       "So you mean.. Paint me like a clown?... Like the clowns with big shoes and stuff?" Tavros began to ask, even more anxious now as he looked at the mirror. Quickly stuffing the game boy in his pocket to insure its safety. Gamzee looked down towards his feet, as if to check if his own shoes were large. "Heh, I guess so yeah." He laughed, taking some dark grey face paint and dabbing it on a new cotton ball. "'Aight, you're gun feel a chill, bro." Gamzee reached forward, holding Tavros' cheek with one hand as his other began to brush paint across his face. Tav for the most part was a very compliant canvas, managing to stay mostly still excempt for his nervously wringing hands, But a few minutes into the makeover he also managed to find his voice, if only to state more concern. "But uh.. w-won't this make me look like uh... Doof?

       "A DOOF?!" Gamzee suddenly screamed, whipping his hand back. For a brief moment he was consumed in a powerful rage, blood pumping through him and hazing him purple. "WHO IN THE MOTHAFUCK SAID YOU'D LOOK DOOFY?!" He clutched the cotton ball in one fist. "SO HELP ME IF ANYONES MAKIN FUN OF MY MOTHAFUCKIN' TAV I'LL SHOW 'EM WRATH."  
"What?!, nononono... No one needs wrath! " Tavros gestured somewhat franticlly, shaking his head. "N-No one else said anything... I just thought.. I was worried I... I.." great, he was freezing up again. To be fair though, he was slightly terrified of the other trolls possible response to any disagreement, especially considering how he just exploded. "Don't worry Tav!" With a complete switch from angry to protective, Gamzee wrapped his arms around the troll, his lanky body tangled up around Tav's torso and his head resting on the shaft of his horn. "I'll make sure no mothafuckas come and mess with you." He sniffled.

       "Uh.. Alright." Maybe it was best just to drop the subject, as long as Gamzee wasn't pulling out big red noses and silly hats to put on him, he could bear the clown stuff for the sake of the others temperament. "Do you wanna finish?.. Bells prolly going to ring soon" Besides, in a good (sane) mood he was actually not that bad, And Tav would be lying if he said a hug every now and then wasn't kind of nice.

       Gamzee seemed to regather himself, composed at least enough to go back to his work. "I guess so, yeah." He grinned. The troll gazed upon Tavros with warm eyes, long fingers dragging paint across his cheeks. He was just about finished... Just a little more. "There!" He declared, pulling back and examining his work thoughtfully. Tavros now had markings almost akin to his own face paint. With a nod of approval, he gestured for Tavros to have a look for himself in the mirror. "I know, looks pretty morhafuckin' g-"

       "Tavros? GAMZEE? What are you doing?!" From the doorway came a loud, scared voice. Tavros turned his head almost reluctantly to see Mr. Vantas standing in front of them.

       "O-of.. Uh... Hi Mr. Vantas" Tav eeped out, anxiety returning full force in anticipation of them having done some great evil "We were just.. You know... Clownin around ...heh"

       Signless didnt seem to pay Tavros any mind, he stormed right up to Gamzee and snatched the paint bottle from off the sink closest to him. "Gamzee... We TALKED about this, it's against school regulation to wear face paint..." He tried to keep his voice firm, unwavering, but the sympathy in it still remained. It's not like he enjoyed telling the kid no... But clowns were not allowed on school property after the mauling of '83. Gamzee frowned, sending Tavros an apologetic look. "Doing it to yourself is one thing, but I CERTAINLY can't have my entire class running around as tiny clown... People..." Signless spoke as he took a hand kerchief from the back pocket of his formal black pants and wetting it. Gamzee tried to speak up, but the older troll kept going. "It's unsafe really... What if there was something on your face we needed to know about,"

       "Like what?" Gamzee asked, an inflection to his tone that sounded almost challenging. It made Signless look back to see a slight glare on his face. He regretted what he said, remembering parent teacher night with someone else of the Makara family years ago. "Nothing..." Signless stopped himself before the thought could engulf him completely, instead wringing out the cloth until it was damp and wiping away the paint from Gamzee's face, then Tavros's.

       "Maybe it's better not to argue Gamzee... Besides, uh.. We could always do something out of school.. I mean, I wouldn't mind getting a cool skull face like your bro." Tav reassured, with an honest liking of the idea he just thought of. Bull Skeletor at least sounded cool to him.  
And maybe... If he borrowed some of Rufioh's hair dye, he could be BULL SKELETOR GHOST RIDER. Tav quickly hid his inner giddiness though. Simply taking solace in having an outfit idea that he was sure would make even Dave jealous.

       Gamzee smiled despite himself, chest rising a bit. "Well alright, bro. I think I can up and fu- uh. Do that." He stammered when Signless gave him a hard glare at the syllable of fuck. The teacher leaned back up, his handkerchief pasted in white and grey. "Sounds like a plan. And tell ya what Gamzee, Halloween, you can wear as much face paint as you want." Mr. Vantas smiled warmly. Gamzee perked up a bit at this.

       Huh, everybody seemed happy. Honestly Tavros expected this all to end much more horribly when he came in here. Speaking of which, he realized they were still all in the school bathroom "So uh Mr. Vantas, we clear to head back to class?" the bell was bound to ring any moment.

       Signless turned back to Tavros, smiling earnestly and tussling his Mohawk. "Sure Tavros." Gamzee snuck in past the teacher's leg which lay between him and Tavros. With his huge grin, Gamzee wrapped an arm around Tav’s neck and pulled him against his lanky body. "Sorry Tav, if it helps at all, you still make a cute lil clown." He chuckled teasingly. "A CLASS clown!" He snorted grossly with laughter, yet it remained genuine. Tavros let out a slightly defeated sigh as the sound of the bell ringed throughout the building. Still, a small smile found itself strangely unable to leave his face in the presence of Gamzee's gross abundance of affection and good intentions.

'Could’ve been worse' he thought.


	4. Computer Lab

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about it taking as long as it did between this chapter and last, but regardless hope you enjoy this next chapter. A bit of more establishing things as the story finds its flow. (unlikely it ever will) please leave feedback if you have any!

            _Thursday... 1:30 PM._  
     I collect my thoughts quietly, sitting back and watching the detonation of my fellow inmates. Our warden, Mr. Vantas, has just finished reading Where the Wild Things Are to us. It was boring. Oh so very boring... As I write I can feel my brain slowly caving in on itself... Wait, what's that? He's saying something - something that sounds fun. Could it be? Is my joy truly inevitable? I can see a light, it's blinding - it calls to me from outer--  
"Karkat?" Signless spoke up, suddenly. The little troll looked up from his notebook, quickly slapping an arm over it to hide his writing. "Are you coming?" The teacher gave him a strange look, which beckoned Karkat to look around. The class had congregated at the door in an unorganized line.  
"Yes! Jeez... Don't have to rush." He grumbled, closing his notebook. It was bright pink and decorated in flowers, with glittery cursive font on the front that said 'princess.' Karkat had scribbled out as much of the nauseating daisies and roses as he could, but the girliness of it still remained. The excuse for this abomination; it was on sale. Karkat had hated his father ever since that day.  
     Standing up now, Karkat tucked the journal under his arm and hurried over to the back of the line. Vriska nudged his tensed up body. "Caught in your daydreams, Vantas?" She teased, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, the action seemed demeaning. At this moment Karkat reiterated to himself how much better the girl thought she was than everyone else. "Yep. But at least I'm not daydreaming about Nicholas Cage..." He glared at her.Vriska blushed, huffing and looking away. 'Nailed it.' Karkat mentally high fived himself.  
"Alright class, stay in a single file," Mr. Vantas called back to them as he begun to lead the way. The little bodies shuffled out the door and into the halls of the main building. Karkat looked up from the floor to see their line was already squiggly. This was his first visit to the computer lab, he knew that the second graders apparently loved it. There was a time when he was just a small, incompetent first grader, ogling at the higher ups and prodding them with questions; "what's it like to be old?" "Do babies really come from the stork?" He heard, along with everyone else, the treasures of the fabled computer lab. You sat, for an hour, and played games that APPEARED to be educational but they really weren't. Though he tried not to show it, Karkat was buzzing with excitement.  
     The cacophonous chatter of children reverberated down the halls until they stopped at a door with the painted numbers 11 on the front. Signless pulled a pair of keys from his pockets, and after numerous attempts to find the correct key, the door finally opened. Karkat pushed on his tippie toes to peer over the heads of his classmates, trying to glimpse inside. The computer lab was huge! And dark... Rows of desks lined horizontally across the room, with around 5 bulky computers to each one. "Move already!" Karkat yelped, pushing past Vriska and Rose, he wanted to get first pick of the seats. A low hum of machinery made the room glow despite the dim light. Karkat ran past bodies, choosing the computer closest to the back. Whoa... The monitor was so big! The keyboard stretched before him, that's weird... The keys weren't in alphabetical order, QWERTY? Why was being old so complicated? 'How do you even work this thing?' Karkat stared at this foreign technology. Before he could experiment, his father snapped at him. "Karkat!" He looked up quickly, peering at him and sinking lower in his seat. "Nice try, you have an assigned seat..." He pointed to the seat closest to the front.  
"What?!" He thrashed, pushing out from his seat and groaning. "Come on dad! I'm getting too old for 'assigned seats.' Don't we get any Liberty? This is infringing to my rights…’  
"Yeah yeah, very impressive vocabulary Karkat, is that a dictionary in your pocket?" He teased. Karkat burned red... Still grumbling, he stomped to the front of the class and took the first seat of the first row. To make matters worse, a tall blonde body collapsed in the chair closest to him. Karkat dare not look in its direction...  
_Scoot..._ The chair shuffled closer to him. _Scoooooot..._ Something was coming in his personal bubble, there was yellow in the corner of his eye. _Scooooooooooooot..._ Daves shoulders brushed up against Karkats.

     "Hey Karkrab, you ready to see some sick techni logical skill?" Dave boasted as he leaned over, their computers, now booting up and Strider had his hands placed on the keyboard with the confidence of a great pianist ready to play.

     Jacks class came through not a second later, quiet and in flawless line as each one took their seat. Their tall overlord followed behind into the room and took presence by the door. His stare not leaving the students until they were all perfectly in there seats and quiet. The room now decently filled.

     "Rest assured I am THOROUGHLY excited for your shenanigans, Strider." Karkat glared at him, quickly letting his attention divert to the army-like organization of Jack's class. He felt a chill run down his spine, poor souls. Though, Jack didn't only scare Karkat, Signless was also off put by him. But, the teacher tried his hardest not to hold judgement. Jack used to be the gym teacher, but after the school budget was lowered, gym teachers had to be cut. Thankfully, Jack was there to take the role of the past second grade teacher. He'd try his best to get off on the right foot with him. "What a respectful class Jack," he murmured to him with a little smile.

    Jack's only response to the troll was a momentary shift of his glare, which when cast back upon the other class seemed to make them subtly stiff in posture once again.                                                     "Thank God we're not under THAT guys thumb..." Karkat whispered to Dave.  
"Yeah dude, Your dad may be a sissy but at least I don't have recite 'yes mein kaiser'." Dave whispered back, forgetting for a moment they were just about to start a squabble.

     Karkat giggled at this under this breath, leaning across Dave's desk, acting as though they were obviously sharing something private. The suspicion was enough to cause Signless to nervously glance away from Jack and towards their direction. "Mr. Strider, Karkat, do you have something to share with the class?" He inquired. The demeanor of the much kinder teacher had taken a slight shift under the cold atmosphere of Jack. Though he wouldn't notice it, Signless was trying to appear more stalwart, powerful around the other colleague.

     Dave didn't even hesitate, cooly responding "Well, it was supposed to be private, but if you must know.." He adjusted his sunglasses  "We were just planning a sick slumber party"

     Signless flicked his eyes between his son and Dave. His inner fatherly senses briefly overtook his scholarly ones. "We didn't discuss this Karkat."  
"Wh-I? What!"  
"You could've at LEAST told me you were going to stay the night at your little friends house before you went and did it." Several heads in the class turned to them, giggles floating like clouds above their heads.  
"Dad I wasn't going to -"  
"That's Mr. Vantas young man." He said stiffly. Karkat slapped a hand over his face and groaned, shaking his head. "Nevermind, Nevermind." He waved it off.

     Thankfully, now the computers had all booted up. Passwords were the same from last year, Karkat had the best password ever.... "Password" he thought he was a genius for coming up with it really, you see, because then he could NEVER forget it.

     Dave attempted to hide the small chuckle that inevitably came. Trying to re focus on his own monitor as he entered in the password.

     "You all know what you are and aren't allowed to do, so sit still and shut up, and engross yourself in the chicanery of technological learning" Jack spoke to seemingly all the students with a look of loathing and a venom his voice. In truth though he was by his standards in a decently good mood. The kids would be distracted by pointless tasks that would need no grading, and the presence of Vantas meant he could easily shirk most if not all responsibility in watching them. Best of all, he had a copy of 'poe's poetry with him, which he quite intended to read as he took a seat by the side of the room.

     Karkat for one, didn't know what to do, for two, didn't know how to do it. But he tried not to show that as he waved his clicker on the computer screen. What were these logos neatly stacked along the side? Karkat had watched his dad and even his brother use their home computer before, he even used to watch Kankri play games on it, but he had never been able to really use it. Maybe he should try clicking on one of the little logos. An application popped up on the computer, flashing a crudely drawn man giving a thumbs up. Karkat grimaced, this looked like it was drawn by a 5 year old! "Why would they choose THIS as their mascot?!" Karkat yelled in dismay. The little game Karkat brought up was thankfully the one most of the students used, it was a pointless painting game. An application that in all actuality, was horrible for anyone hoping to draw anything relatively professional. It was more just an excuse to engross oneself in bright colors and stock-sound effects ripped right from the supple teets of the Internet. "Have you ever used this before Strider?" Karkat scowled.

     Dave looked over at the troll. A smile joined with a slightly raised brow peeking over his shades "You kidding dude?, this is doodle master, it's the shi- shiz" he corrected himself at the end to avoid a second strike less than ten minutes into the class. Looking back he continued drawing onto a incoherent mess of lines. The only thing Karkat could make out was that it had a hat.

     'Doodle master?' Karkat's mouth tilted with unease. Jesus, the thing Dave was making was... Atrocious. Well he was adamant on making an ACTUAL piece of art with this computer program. He fumbled around with the options for a (long) while until he found a simplistic pencil tool. (Before that he had come across nothing but stickers and glitter and shitty clipart.) Karkat liked to consider himself a decent artist. No one else agreed with him of course but they just didn't understand what true art was. No one does anymore. Truly, as an arteest, Karkat had to start with the outline of a drawing. He drew a round shape with eyes, with a short stump body. The lines were out of place, but it looked perfect to him! Just a few more touches, the glasses of course - stupid shirt, stupid mouth, stupid hair, aaaaaand... Done. WAIT. Karkat hurriedly scrolled to the sticker section and took out a large pasted butterfly and moved it onto the drawing. Perfect. "Hey Dave, check this out." The troll bragged, turning his computer monitor towards him so he could see his magnificent piece of art. It was a visual representation of Dave, with an arrow pointing at him that confirmed this. As it was labeled 'Strider.' With another arrow pointing to him that said 'stupid.

     "Hmm..A few details are missing" He responded with a smirk. Dave suddenly leaned himself over and took control of Karkats mouse, attempting at least to make a few adjustments. Completely brushing over the fact he had been insulted somewhat.  
"No! What are you DOING? You're messing up my beautiful art!" Karkat exclaimed, shooting his hands in his hair in panic.  
After a moment Strider moved back from over the trolls keyboard, admiring his work with crossed arms and a smug look "Well 'pistachio', now it's even better.  
"PISTACHIO?" Karkat fumed, looking at him with dull eyes. "Did you mean Picasso?"  
"Who?" Dave asked, somewhat lost in his amazing work. To Karkat it looked as though there was just a bunch of stick figures added, and 'stupid' was changed to 'stupidendess'. The stick figures ranged from triangle eyed guys giving thumbs up, to a square eyed one with a speech bubble saying 'super hot'. Also there was a poorly drawn sword in his hand now.

     Karkat wasn't even going to bother pointing out he spelt stupendous wrong... He just shook his head and with the eraser tool, wiped away the drawing. "Is this all this idiotic art program can provide?"  
"Pfft, you're just not creative enough to appreciate its full potential" Dave quipped  
"What other potential does it even have?" Karkat grumbled, bored now as he clicked his fingers on the desk. He rested his head on the keyboard, unknowingly spamming the M key across the screen several hundred times.

     Dave moved his hand over to Karkat's mouse again, hovering the cursor over a new button. Upon clicking it a soft recital of 'mmmmmmmmmmmmmm' could be heard from the headphones connected to the monitor.

     Karkat gasped loudly as a sudden hum of M's echoed in his ears. He quickly took out the headphones from his ears, looking at the computer screen, then back at the headphones now gripped in his hands. He quickly understood, and that brought a genuinely warm smile to his face and a laugh. "Whoa!" He highlighted the scrolled text across his screen and deleted it, replacing it with 'Karkat is the most awesome and talented person in the whole world and everyone should bow to him including Strider.' Jittering with excitement, he pushed the headphones in Daves hands without even test-running it. "Try it try it!" This might have been the second happiest time the human had ever seen him.

     Good thing Jack and Mr. Vantas were to busy with another issue to pay heed to the two's tomfoolery

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

     "Did you spill water on it or something?" Eridan found himself under the inquisition of obviously annoyed Jack, with a broken keyboard, a sweaty Equius sitting on his left, and a 'trying really hard to ignore all this' John to his right.  
"Wwhat? No! It wwas Equ!" Eridan exclaimed, smoke drifting up from his smashed keyboard, notably wet. The seadweller pointed at the troll to the right of him, tensed up with clenched teeth. Fear chilled through him as Jack peered down at him with those crude eyes of his. He was staring death in the face. "I swwear I didn't do any of this rubbish! I havve vvery delicate hands."  
"Is that true horse boy? Does he have soft hands?" Jack asked in a now more deadpan inflection.  
Equius nodded his head quickly "Yes master tutor! Soft as any silk. Truly a wonder unable to harm even a fly." The boy had turned in his seat and had his hands clasped as though he was praying to a deity.

     John meanwhile couldn't help but start to snicker, attempting to cover it with his hands.

     "Wwhat're you laughin' at Egbert?" Eridan hissed, subconsciously blocking out Equius and his strange... Wording. Meanwhile, Mr. Vantas had stepped up behind him and began to carefully pull the broken keyboard away. How did this thing get mashed up this bad...? Signless didn't think about it too much. Instead, he replaced the keyboard with a new one they had in the back.  
"Nu-" John let out a small snort in his giggling "Nothing" honestly he wasn't expecting unplugging the keyboard usb to lead to Equius offering to fix and subsequently break it. Poor guy looked devastated... But still he couldn't help but find it humorous.  
"Well.. Sadly there's no evidence to pin Egbert as well. So silkhands, you and horse boy will both take reprimand for destruction of school property" Jack concluded.  
"WWHAT?!" Eridan exploded, dramatically bursting forth from the confines of his chair. "That's not fair!" He wailed, balling his fists. He hated to be made a fool of! Now Feferi and Vriska wouldn't lay off him for weeks about this crud when he didn't even do anything. "I wwas just tryin' ta make it wwork! You're the one who should be reprimanded, buyin' faulty equipment and wwhat not!" His cheeks glowed a rich purple with emotion.

     Jacks narrowing eyes where the only response, but they spoke enough for his opinion

     Equius suddenly jumped in between the teacher and fellow student. Having decided upon action after his momentary freeze of fear and mental conflict "Please Master tutor, forgive the high blood of any and all transgressions, I was the one who failed to the serve the proper task and instead destroyed the device... Give me double punishment if needed, lashings or otherwise!" the boy huffed after his grand speech ".. I cannot afford to lose another associate..."  why he waited till now to speak up was anyone's guess, but quickly he found his courage and valor shrinking under the gaze of Jack.  
"Uh... Maybe we could just call it an accident?" John looked to Mr. Vantas, now he did feel a little bad.

     Mr. Vantas (somewhat nervously) placed a hand on Jacks shoulder. "Your kid’s right," he tried to sound sure of himself and not intimidated. "Besides, there was no harm done here! We had another keyboard that was just waiting to be used." It was mainly the outburst of Equius that pushed him to the edge, no lashings were going to ensue on school property.  
"Exactly." Eridan huffed, crossing his arms in an attempt to look cool. He peered at Equius, nearly trembling in front of him with sweat beating down every pore on his visible body. Eridan didn't want to imagine any further...  
"Hmm.." Jack was thoughtful for a moment. Truthfully it was less work just to call it an accident, and having to deal with them in detention as well as normally sounded like hell, these kids were fucking weird. "Fine... We'll write it off as a mishap... Now sit in your seats and shut up before I change my mind" the only downside was it was more fuel to Vantas's saint complex.. The fact that the main could sway him in any way already was troubling enough.

     Though it should have been Eridan that sighed from relief, as he escaped punishment, it was in fact Signless that sighed. He smiled at the three of them before giving a wink and turning back, leaning against one of the spare desks. What do you know he was right, and Jack gave Vantas a final 'I hate you glance' at this before returning to his chair.

     Equius simply gave Eridan a nervous hopeful smile, well that was definitely strange... Maybe he should leave computer work to Sollux......

 

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     "Aight Karkat, you ready to listen to some dope lyrics?" Dave said with a proud smug grin as he had finished his keyboard machinations.  
"Hmm?" Karkat glanced at him, their bodies still hunkered close together as they had been trading rap verses together. "Tch, I'm sure it'll be subpar at best." He rolled his eyes, pretending to be uninterested - but he had to admit he was liking this program already. If only because of the endless amount of tomfoolery you could make with it. Karkat grabbed Daves red headphones and settled them in his pointed ears, resting his elbows on the desk and glancing at the blonde expectantly.

"It's the Davesaster  
Dick blaster  
Dj master  
Great caster of lyrical thrills  
I don't to worry bout paying no bills  
Come on baby get in my ride  
There ain't no rules I gotta abide  
You may not think I have a heart  
But baby you just, gotta play your part."

     As soon as the monotone computer voice had finished its... Colorful.. Song, Karkat took the headphones from out of his ears, set them on the desk, and slowly turned his head to Dave. He was blank. Emotionless. "Dude..." Karkat said, raising a shaking hand and setting it on Daves shoulder. "That was... THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!" Karkat exclaimed loudly, voice ringing around the room. The troll burst into laughter, a snort erupting from his nose. He covered his mouth to muffle his laughs. "Not!"

     Striders face contorted into an  angry frown. "Oh yeah?.. Well what's your  masterpiece then? Oh great shakesbeard."  
"This," Karkat grinned, taking his own headphones and shoving them in Daves hands. He excitedly watched him put them in his ears, then quickly he pressed the big green 'GO' button. His own rap song began to play, and not to be crude, but Karkat considered himself quite the entrepreneur at fine music.  

  
"I'm the leader of everyone  
People don't even know how good I am  
I'm like Napoleon bone-a-party  
I'm a much better rapper than that dick over there  
Sittin next to me with the really stupid hair  
He can't rap but guess what I can  
He's got a bigger mouth than a toco toucan  
What  
What  
Check check it"

     Dave started to improv as it ended, second nature to him when he listened to music normally  
"I'm ruling the world while these haters get mad  
They all calling me out it like it's some new fad.  
But I tell em hey it's all good  
Any attentions good when you come from the hood"

     Karkat laughed louder, nudging him so hard that Dave wheeled in his chair a bit. "Something funny?" Mr. Vantas snapped in, catching Karkat's attention and reminding him they were still in school... The troll slapped his hands over the computer screen, hiding his beautiful artistry. "No!" He exclaimed, peering at his father. Signless quirked an eyebrow, trying to peek over Karkat's palm to see what he was hiding.

     Once Dave's chair stopped moving, he took the headphones off, looking up at the teacher "Oh hey Mr. V.. Come to see me win this sick freestyle rap battle?"  
"Noooo..." Karkat harshly whispered to Dave, in a loud tone that his father was sure not to hear. But someone from across the room surely could. Karkat peered at Dave. "You can't share this art with him, he wouldn't understand the sheer amount of talent it takes to compose such pieces of literature!"  
Dave looked at Karkat, and then back to Signless. "That true Mr. V?, you ain't one for the finer arts?" Strider relaxed back into his seat.

     "What?" Signless's face contorted. He put his hands on the curb of his waist and impatiently tapped his foot. "Of course I appreciate the fine arts. A-And look." He straightened his posture, acting more stern with Jack still in the room. "Anything you can share with me you can share with the entire class."  
Karkat groaned, pulling at his hair. "Why does no one appreciate the struggle of the artist?!"

     Strider capitalized on the trolls focus on his father, reaching over and unplugging Karkats headphones, putting the audio back on system speakers as he clicked for the lyrics to play again.

     Any and all chit chat that had once filled the room with a quiet, fuzzy source of noise was immediately frozen as the speakers rang, rapping the solemn word of the gospel that clearly only those of fine art could appreciate for its true potential. Black haired and one blonde head turned to see the trio of Karkat, Dave, and Signless sitting there blank faced. The rap rang true, delivering words of such wisdom it was profound. When the monotone voice representing the art stopped the room burst into laughter. Karkat burnt red, burying his face in his arms.

     "It's a bit raw, but that gives a kind of ironic twist.. " Dave commented, a big smile on his face that was likely on the verge of laughing itself.

     Karkat groaned loudly from his arms, nudging an elbow out and hitting Dave square in the chest. "It was very uh... Creative, boys". Mr. Vantas spoke up. "Not exactly what I think the program should be used for, but sure! Creative, definitely."  
Karkat lifted his head and looked at Dave. "You and I are done professionally."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: The Epic Sleepover (Featuring Karkat's House)


End file.
